5 Ways to Make Sustainable and Lasting Changes.
Bridging the gap from where you are to where you want to be can sometimes feel challenging and lonely. Working with clients and myself, I have learned how to bridge that gap with more ease, excitement, and compassion. Here are some of my top ways to start embracing change in a sustainable way!
Define your core values
With clients, I often walk them through an exercise where they first define their values. Then we focus on beliefs about themselves and the world that are in line with those values. Finally, we list actions, habits and changes that align with both their values and beliefs. We address change on a deeper level through this exercise. Your core values and priorities can actually play a role in increasing neuroplasticity (which will be discussed even more later!). When you are truly connected to your values, you have a better sense of meaning and purpose. So when we make changes that align with our values, there is even more incentive to change! When you are fulfilled doing things that really matter to you, you are more likely to continue working towards actions and learning things that actually benefit you in the long run!
Sometimes you must make changes at the identity level if you feel things are really out of alignment. You must acknowledge that sometimes your beliefs or actions may not match your values. Many of us have not been taught to identify and cultivate our authentic selves. If you feel there are some hidden dreams of desires lurking beneath the surface, it is time to do an inventory of your core values. Then if needed, make shifts in your identity.
By placing your values and deeper passions as a priority, you can start making changes and building a life that truly feels good!
2. Honor the Cyclical Nature of Life
Just as Mother Nature goes through seasons, so do we! I often witness humans chasing this eternal summer feeling. We all love the feeling of warmth, vibrant energy, and growth. However, clinging to this will actually prevent you from enjoying a later and more abundant harvest! If we do not let things end or die fully, we cannot embrace new beginnings. Each season has its gifts and medicine. Winter is the time of rest, hibernation, and endings. Spring is the season of hope and new beginnings. Summer is the season of vitality and visible signs of growth. Finally, autumn is the season of harvest, achievements but also failures.
Being compassionate with yourself as you implement new ways of living creates inner safety and trust. Trust yourself to shift and change according to the cycles and phases of your own life. Learn to honor where you are exactly. Alter actions and habits according to the season you are in.
For example, when we experience drastic changes, stress or tragedy in our life, our capacity to do and be more is often limited. Honor this. Sometimes we must nurture and give to ourselves more than the outside world. Some may call this a “winter” phase in some way. However, deeper rest is necessary for our recovery and eventual growth again. When there are times where you fall off the wagon or feel like you have stagnated, check in to see what season you are in. Then nurture yourself according to the season you are actually in, not the one you want to be in. You will lessen resistance and frustration with life and yourself when you honor that particular season.
The more we say yes to the cyclical nature of life, the more open we are to our life.
3. Seek Outside Support
When we are able to be felt, seen, heard and supported on a journey of change and transformation, our sense of belonging, understanding, and confidence increases! Outside support can help make our path towards change more direct and cut out some guess work. I know this may be a privilege for someone, and I do want to acknowledge this. If you are unable to seek the support of a coach, healer or therapist, find free or low cost spaces where you can get even a bit of extra support. These spaces can include community care workshops, ceremonies, masterclasses, support groups, healing circles, and so much more. These spaces should be focused on “healing” in some way.
The most successful people I know are more often than not seeking the support of mentors, healers and supportive communities. They know they do not have all the secrets to fulfillment in life. They are consistently open to learning from others and investing energy into these spaces. From my personal experience, I have had the support of everyone from an EMDR therapist to a shamanic practitioner to a business coach. If I had not had the support of these people along my journey, I know I would not be where I am today. I do recognize the privilege I had to seek these resources but often I made big adjustments in my budget to invest in this support.
I sacrificed short term fun for long term goals.
So let’s unpack a bit of that rugged individualism that you have to do everything on your own and pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Seeking the support of a trusted person, community or space is nourishing and can truly help foster your growth.
Ask yourself… If I did not seek the support I need most today, what would be the long term cost?
4. Support Neuroplasticity
When you support neuroplasticity, your brain's ability to adapt and reorganize its structure and function in response to learning, experience, and environmental changes increases!
There are many ways to increase neuroplasticity and they do not always require a lot of effort! One of my favorite techniques is simply incorporating “newness” into your day. You can take a different way home from work. Walk the dog in a different area. Even brushing your teeth with the opposite hand. You do not need to dramatically change your life to incorporate newness into your life. Next, movement, movement and more movement! Physical exercise increases blood flow to the brain, stimulates the release of growth factors, and promotes the creation of new neural connections. Finally, some people love supporting neuroplasticity through learning new hobbies, new skills or studying a new language.
5. Get to the ROOT of The areas you want to improve
Self discovery and growth journey can be a gradual process. However, persistently exploring the underlying factors or root cause of the problems in your life can help you gain valuable insights and make changes that that are sustainable.
Surface level solutions for patterns and behaviors that need to be addressed at the root often only result in short term change. To address things at the root, you start being honest with yourself about the trauma, wounds, and pain that are living in your body. Healing generational trauma is an important part of “the work”. Intergenerational wounds live both in the body and in our psyches. These wounds impact our health, relationships, finances, and our ability to function. For example, if you want to attract an emotionally healthy and available man, but you find yourself dating men who treat you badly, you will need to address some deeper attachment and abandonment wounds. Then if we address intergenerational trauma, we would want to address how these wounds may have been passed down your lineage.
Trauma work, embodiment work, somatic therapy techniques and ancestral healing are some of my favorite methods of getting to the root. Getting to the root cause of issues means you are better able to create changes in your life without the extra emotional baggage, traumas, and wounds.
When we clear space in our bodies and psyches, we are better able to move towards the changes we truly NEED and DESIRE!
Ready to say YES to yourself and seek extra support? Book your free consult call with me here!
